What Is Workplace Ostracism and How Do You Handle It?

What Is Workplace Ostracism?

You brought coffee for the team meeting. Everyone said thanks—except nobody made eye contact with you. Later, you found out there was a happy hour last Friday. You weren’t invited. Your Slack messages sit on “read” for hours while others get instant replies.

You’re not imagining it. And you’re not being paranoid.

Workplace ostracism is when coworkers or managers deliberately exclude, ignore, or freeze someone out. It’s quieter than bullying—no yelling, no insults—but research from the Journal of Applied Psychology shows it can hurt just as much. About 71% of workers experience it at some point. That’s not a small problem. That’s most people.

The short version

Ostracism is the silent treatment at work. No dramatic confrontation—just being slowly erased from conversations, meetings, and the social fabric of your team.

What Does Workplace Ostracism Look Like?

It’s rarely obvious. That’s what makes it so hard to call out.

The social freeze: Everyone goes to lunch together—except you. The group chat is active, but you only see it when someone accidentally mentions it. Conversations stop when you walk up, then restart when you leave.

The professional cut-out: You find out about a meeting that affects your project… after it happened. Your name gets dropped from email threads. Someone “forgot” to add you to the new team chat. Your ideas get ignored in meetings, then praised when someone else says the same thing 10 minutes later.

The silent treatment: Your messages get one-word replies—if they get replies at all. People avoid eye contact. You ask a question and get the bare minimum answer, no follow-up, no warmth.

Is This Ostracism, Bullying, or Just Professional Boundaries?

Here’s the thing: not every cold coworker is ostracizing you. Some people are just private. Some teams aren’t social. So how do you tell the difference?

The key difference: Bullying is someone being actively hostile. Ostracism is someone pretending you don’t exist. Professional boundaries are someone being equally reserved with everyone—not singling you out.

If your manager is formal with the whole team, that’s their style. If your manager chats warmly with everyone except you, that’s a problem.

How Does Workplace Ostracism Affect You?

It’s not “just” social discomfort. Being excluded at work messes with your head and your performance in measurable ways.

What happens to you: Your confidence tanks. You start second-guessing every interaction. You check your phone constantly hoping for a response that never comes. Anxiety spikes. You dread going to work. According to SHRM research, people who are ostracized are 67% more likely to quit within a year—often citing it as a major factor in their decision to resign.

What happens to your work: Your performance drops by about 25%. Not because you’re less capable, but because you’re spending mental energy navigating the social minefield instead of doing your job. You stop contributing ideas in meetings—why bother if they’ll be ignored? You disengage. Eventually, you leave—and take your knowledge with you.

What happens to the team: Everyone notices. Even people who aren’t being ostracized feel the tension. Trust erodes. The culture turns toxic. New hires pick up on it fast and start wondering if they’re next.

Why Does This Happen?

Sometimes there’s a clear reason. Often there isn’t. That’s part of what makes it so frustrating.

You’re the new person: Established teams sometimes freeze out newcomers, especially if they feel threatened. You got promoted? You’re now a target. You replaced someone popular? Good luck.

Cliques and in-groups: Some teams have a core group that’s been together for years. They don’t mean to exclude you—they just don’t think to include you. The effect is the same.

You’re different: Maybe you’re the only remote worker. Maybe you work a different shift and day shift “forgets” to loop you in. Maybe you’re a PRN employee and the full-timers see you as an outsider. Sometimes it’s worse—discrimination based on race, gender, age, or disability.

Someone decided they don’t like you: It happens. One person with influence decides you’re out, and the rest follow. Politics, jealousy, a misunderstanding that never got resolved.

The culture rewards it: In hyper-competitive environments, people hoard information and exclude others to get ahead. If leadership tolerates it—or does it themselves—it spreads.

Can You Sue for Workplace Ostracism?

Maybe. It depends on why you’re being excluded.

When it crosses legal lines: If you’re being ostracized because of your race, gender, age, religion, or disability, that’s discrimination—and it’s illegal under Title VII, ADA, and ADEA. Same goes if you’re being frozen out because you reported harassment or filed a complaint. That’s retaliation, and employers can be held liable.

When it’s just awful but legal: Here’s the frustrating part. If your coworkers exclude you because they don’t like your personality, or you’re “not a culture fit,” or for no reason at all—that’s usually not illegal. It might violate company policy. It might be grounds for an HR complaint. But you probably can’t sue.

When the company is on the hook: Employers get in trouble when management knew about the ostracism and did nothing, when supervisors were the ones doing it, or when the exclusion was clearly tied to discrimination or retaliation.

What Can Managers Actually Do About It?

Generic advice like “foster inclusion” sounds nice but changes nothing. Here’s what actually works.

Notice who’s being left out: Pay attention to who gets invited to meetings, who speaks up, who gets credit. Look at your team chat—is everyone included? When you see patterns, address them directly. “Hey, I noticed Sarah wasn’t in that planning discussion. Let’s make sure she’s looped in.”

Don’t let cliques run the show: Rotate project teams. Assign cross-functional work. Pair new hires with different mentors, not just the people they already know. Make it structurally harder for in-groups to form.

Take complaints seriously: When someone says they feel excluded, don’t dismiss it. Follow up within 48 hours. Document what you discussed. Check back in two weeks. People need to see that reporting actually leads to change—otherwise they’ll just leave.

Close the shift gap: Day shift often excludes night shift from decisions without realizing it. Use shared channels for real-time updates. Schedule occasional all-hands meetings at shift overlap times. Make information access equal.

What Should You Do If You’re Being Ostracized?

First: trust your instincts. If it feels like you’re being excluded, you probably are.

Start documenting: Write down what happened, when, and who was involved. “March 15: Team went to lunch without me. March 17: Left off email thread about Project X. March 20: Asked question in meeting, no one responded.” This matters if you ever need to escalate.

Try a direct conversation: Sometimes people genuinely don’t realize they’re doing it. A calm “Hey, I noticed I wasn’t included in that discussion—was that intentional?” can clear the air. If they’re apologetic and things change, great. If they get defensive or nothing changes, you have your answer.

Go to HR or your manager: If direct conversation doesn’t work, escalate. Bring your documentation. Be specific. “I’ve been excluded from X, Y, and Z over the past month.” HR can’t fix what they don’t know about.

Protect your mental health: This stuff hurts. Find support outside work—friends, family, a therapist. Don’t let the silence make you doubt yourself. And if nothing changes and it’s destroying your wellbeing, it’s okay to start looking for an exit.

Quick Check: Ostracism or Just a Reserved Team?

Ask yourself these questions:

It’s probably ostracism if:

• Other people get included and you don’t—consistently
• Work-related information is being withheld from you specifically
• It’s been going on for weeks or months, not just a bad day
• You can feel that something’s off, and it’s affecting your work

It might just be professional distance if:

• Your coworkers are equally reserved with everyone
• You still get the information you need to do your job
• There’s no pattern—just normal workplace variation
• You don’t feel targeted, just… not BFFs with your team

The bottom line: You don’t have to be friends with your coworkers. But you do deserve to be treated as part of the team.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is workplace ostracism?

It’s when coworkers or managers deliberately exclude, ignore, or freeze you out—not inviting you to meetings, ignoring your messages, leaving you out of social events. About 71% of workers experience it at some point.

Is workplace ostracism illegal?

Only if it’s based on a protected characteristic (race, gender, age, religion, disability) or retaliation for reporting something. Being excluded because people just don’t like you? That’s awful, but usually not illegal.

How does workplace ostracism affect employees?

It hits harder than most people expect—anxiety, depression, 25% drop in performance, and 67% higher likelihood of quitting within a year. It’s not “just drama.”

What should I do if I’m being ostracized?

Document everything. Try a direct conversation first. If that doesn’t work, go to HR with specifics. And take care of your mental health—this stuff is genuinely painful.

Sources

• Journal of Applied Psychology – Research on workplace ostracism effects, prevalence, and psychological harm
• Society for Human Resource Management – Workplace ostracism prevalence, impact studies, and prevention strategies
• U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission – Hostile work environment and discrimination guidance
• American Psychological Association – Social exclusion and psychological wellbeing research